Even Death Can't Split Us Apart
by TheRobin2000
Summary: Plot: Set around 5x03. When Rachel learns about Finn's sudden death, she realises what she has missed and it makes her become depressed. The only differences are that Finn and Rachel were back together at the time of his death and that Finn was back in the army. Warning: Major Character Deaths, mentions of depression and suicide. Short story.
1. Chapter 1

**So here is my new short story. This will just be a small tragic story that is an alternative to what actually happened in the Quarterback. This was extremely difficult to write because of the feelings that that episode revoked for so many of us. I do know that this story has been taken on before but I wanted to have my own go at this story.**

Even Death Can't Split Us Apart.

Chapter 1: Learning of the Loss.

Rachel's POV.

I get up after finally achieving the dream that I wanted. I am finally going to play Fanny Brice in the Broadway play Funny Girl. I always wanted to make it onto Broadway ever since I could walk and talk. I wouldn't have believed that I would have achieved it before the age of 19. I was on the phone to my boyfriend Finn last night where he was in Afghanistan. He had re-joined the army in early May and would be back in March on leave. We got back together just before he left when he told me that he was going back to the army. He says that he hopes to be back for my first show. He did propose to me before we split up last year but I hope that he proposes again when he gets home. I think back to our conversion on the phone last night.

Flashback

**Rachel: 'Hey Baby. Are you alright?'**

**Finn: 'Rachel, I am fine? How is life over there?'**

**Rachel: 'Great. I just got a call from the directors at Funny Girl. Finn, I got the part.'**

**Finn: 'Rachel. That is fantastic. I'm so proud of you baby. Just remember to save me a seat in the front row on your first night.'**

**Rachel: 'I will do just that. How is the army?'**

**Finn: 'Tough. It is very scary Rachel if I am being honest. But I need to do this for my father, my family, my country but most importantly for you.'**

**Rachel: 'I know. I can't wait to see you either.'**

**Finn: 'I know Rachel. This is only for a few years and then I can come home and we can spend the rest of our lives together. I have to go now. Keep an eye on Kurt for me. I love you.'**

**Rachel: 'I will. I love you too.'**

I get up and start making some breakfast. Today is Sunday and so rehearsals start tomorrow. Santana is working all day at the diner today whereas Kurt is working around lunch. I am not working there today because of working there entirely yesterday. I hear a sobbing noise coming from Kurt's room in the apartment. What has happened there?

I walk in and see Kurt sobbing on his phone. Has Blaine broken up with him again? Has Burt had another heart attack? What is going on?

Kurt: "(On phone) I'll get my stuff and head on home. I'll let my teachers and manager at the diner what has happened. They will understand. Rachel is here, I'll tell her what has happened. Bye Carol, see you soon."

Rachel: "What is going on?"

Kurt: "Rachel…"

Rachel: "Kurt (Starts to get worried). What happened? Is Burt had another heart attack?"

Kurt: "No Rachel. It is about Finn."

Rachel: "What happened? Please tell me Kurt."

Kurt: "Rachel, Finn was shot in Afghanistan. Rachel, he didn't make it."

I just stand there and just try to process what I have just have been told. I don't believe it. I can't believe it but it is true.

_Finn is dead. My sweet, gorgeous Finn is dead. He was only 19. He was just talking to me yesterday about our future and now it has been taken away just like that._

_I begin to think about all the times we had spent together. The first time we performed at Glee Club. Competing at Sectionals, Regionals, and Nationals together. Winning the Nationals title last year and finally being accepted by my peers. The moment when he proposed to me in that auditorium. When he set me free when I thought it was the day that we were getting married. Me breaking up with him in the same auditorium where he proposed to me for lying to him about Brody. When he came to New York and beat Brody up when he found out that Brody was a male hooker and that he could have infected me. Getting back with him and then him re-joining the army. Then back to our phone call yesterday, the last time I spoke to him._

I get out of my thoughts and just break down in Kurt's arms.

Rachel: "(In floods of tears) Please Kurt, tell me this is just some sort of sick dream."

Kurt: "You know that I would want to so badly."

Rachel: "I can't do this. Why did he feel that he had to go back to the army? Why didn't I just drag him to New York with me and then this would have never happened. What have I done to deserve this? (Breaks down completely.)"

Kurt just holds me whilst I try to compose myself.

Santana's POV.

I come in from my shift. Kurt rang in this morning to the manager saying that he was unwell. I don't believe that one bit. He probably wanted to spend time in New York with Blaine. Don't say I blame him after all, I want to spend time with Dani. She is a cool girl.

I look around the apartment and see no-one. Had Lady Hummel and the Dwarf gone out to watch a musical or something? I listen and I hear sobbing coming from Kurt's room. Okay, now things are getting awkward.

I open the curtain to his room and just see Rachel crying on Kurt's shoulder. Has Finn dumped her over the phone yesterday or what? After all she did just get her dream role in Broadway before the age of 20 yesterday. So what is going on?

Santana: "Kurt, what is going on?"

Rachel: "(Screams) HE'S DEAD! HE'S DEAD!"

Santana: "(Begins to fear the worst) Who's dead?"

Kurt: "Finn. Finn died this morning. Carole rang me to tell me that he was shot in war and died of blood loss."

I just stand there shocked. For the very first time, I felt loss in my life. Yes, I never had a father or that I had lost ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends but those were only temporary moments of pain. This is one of my few friends that I have in my life and he is dead at 19. Fucking 19. I feel anger at the fact that he went into war. I feel sorrow for the loss of one of my friends. But most importantly of all, I feel guilt.

I feel guilty for the times that I insulted him at school which probably felt degrading. I feel guilty for the time when I stole his virginity and he didn't seem to enjoy it. But the moment I really felt guilty was for when he and Rachel announced their engagement and the rest of the Glee Club rejected them. We acted like jealous idiots that the so called perfect couple were getting married and now it was never going to happen.

I just look over at Rachel and know that this is a day where we have to look after her. I mean I don't know how I would react if I was engaged and then all of a sudden my fiancée died.

I ask Kurt, "Who knows about this."

Kurt: "My parents. Mr Schue knew about it and so did the New Directions that are still there. The alumni don't know yet."

Santana: "Do you want me to break the news or do you want to do it?"

Kurt: "Can we do it together please."

We go and get the laptop and put up the Skype group with the old alumni on it. We wait for a few minutes and we see that Puck, Quinn, Mercedes and Mike are all on. That was when we knew we had to break the news.

Kurt: "I don't know how to break this to you but Finn was injured in war. We were told that he was shot on a military patrol and died of blood loss."

For a moment there was complete and utter silence. Then everyone starts crying.

Puck: "What? You're joking right?"

Santana: "(Angry) No you idiot, why would he joke about something like this!"

Quinn: "He was my first proper love."

Mercedes: "Have you told Rachel?"

Kurt: "She heard me on the phone this morning. That was when I told her what had happened. She hasn't left my room or stopped crying since."

Mike: "Hope she is okay."

Mercedes: "I feel horrible for the fact that we told them not to get married last year because we thought they were too young. If we knew what would have happened then we would have supported them."

Puck: "I should have been more of a brother for him when he was at college here. He might not have gotten it into his head that he needed to go back to the army and that he might still be with us now."

Quinn: "I guess you don't realise what you have until you have lost it. I was the one who really opposed them marrying but I guess my jealous heart got in the way of that."

Kurt: "Mr Schue and the New Directions know. He asked me if he wants us to come back to Lima to grieve together."

Mike: "We should do that."

We finish the video and begin deciding of plans to try to go back to Lima to grieve with those that we love. But we know that most importantly that we need to take care of Rachel. Right now she is so fragile, she could be broken beyond repair.

When I head to bed that night, I say a little word for Finn. "Rest in Peace Frankenteen."


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the 2nd chapter. This is how Rachel attempts to try to function after Finn's death but knows that she has lost her soulmate.**

Chapter 2: Denial and Acceptance.

Rachel's POV.

As I wake up the next morning, I can tell that I was crying in my sleep because my eyes are stinging with tears and feel extremely puffy. I look down and realise that I am still in my clothes from yesterday and I am holding my picture of Finn from when we at my house in Senior Year where i took a photo of him in order to keep with me when he was away. I just don't want to accept that he is gone but I know that he is.

The worst thing is that I am supposed to start rehearsals today. I have to go because if I don't, they will fire me and I would become a laughing stock to the rest of New York that I probably won't get another job. Why did he have to go? Did I really act that I thought so little of him that he felt that he had to go into the army to make himself feel worthy of his life? All I know is that I feel half the girl I was two days ago before this all happened.

I make breakfast for myself and then I see Kurt come in. He looks just as broken as I do.

Kurt: "You don't have to do this you know."

Rachel: "I know but I have to be in rehearsals today because if I don't I'll get fired and be humiliated."

Kurt: "Rachel. I realise that I was too harsh when we were here in junior year about love and career. You don't have to be this strong. Let me try and comfort you."

Rachel: "No. I have to be. You have just lost your brother Kurt. He is part of your family. I'm just his girlfriend."

Kurt: "(Starts to get angry) Will you stop denying it Rachel! You are more than that to him. He told me that you were the first person that made him feel accepted. Do you know what he told me when I told him that I had learnt of your engagement?"

Rachel: "No."

Kurt: "He said that Rachel was the only thing good going on with in his life. He loved you more than anyone."

Rachel: "Why are you telling me this now?"

Kurt: "Because you need to know. Me and Santana spoke with the other members of the New Directions and we are going to head back to Lima to grieve together for him if you want to come."

Rachel: "I'll think about it."

I just walk out of there because being in the apartment makes me feeling that I'm trapped and all of the memories are threating to pile over and bury me inside. But once I head to Funny Girl rehearsals, I realise that there are too many memories that could be triggered here about Finn as well. The ones where we sang at Sectionals come to mind where he told me that I could be the star that I want to be. But right now I don't seem that motivated to rehearsal or wanting to be a star. After all what is life when there isn't any love within?

I begin the rehearsals and meet my co-performers in the production. They seem to be very nice and supportive of me about my talent but I just feel empty. I'm singing the first song of the show which is I'm The Greatest Star yet I just feel like I'm an imposter or a ghost when I am singing the song because I feel no emotion other than pain. I think that I am starting to become depressed.

After rehearsals, I head back to NYADA for my afternoon lessons but again I just feel that I'm nothing but a ghost. The memory that keeps coming back was when Finn told me that we weren't getting married and that he was setting me free to come here. I made a pathetic attempt to try and bring him along because I just knew that it would be hopeless. Now that he is gone, I just feel guilt and shame that I didn't take him here.

I walk into dance class and see Cassandra July at the front of the room. She doesn't look very happy.

Cassandra: "Late again Berry. No words get into line."

Whatever. I know that she doesn't like me. She told me such. I get into line and begin learning the dance for our Winter Showcase but again, it is just going through the motions. Cassandra spots as much.

Cassandra: "Berry, why aren't you trying hard enough? You aren't even sweating."

_Well maybe it is because of the fact that the news of your boyfriend's death in war just yesterday happened when you are just 18. _I think with a hint of sarcasm. She would find different ways to mock me even if I was on the ball anyway so it doesn't really matter.

At the end of the day, I just head home. I need to get back to my apartment so if I do break down, I have people who can look after me and it won't be in public.

As I reach home, I see Kurt and Santana both there. They both seem to have been crying but they are cooking and telling stories about their days. When they see me, I just collapse.

Kurt: "Rachel. Are you okay?"

Rachel: "(Inconsolable) Why did he have to go? Why him? What did I do to deserve this? It was all planned out. He would come back from the army after a couple of years. I would make it on Broadway then we would get married and spend the rest of our years together and now it is gone. Because of what? People can't get along so we resort to violence to get our point across. Why did he decide to go in the first place? Why? Why? Why?"

Santana: "Rachel, calm down."

Rachel: "(Screams) No. I will not calm down. I've not only lost my love. I've lost my heart, my motivation to get up in the morning. I was supposed to go into rehearsal for the show that I always wanted to be in and I felt nothing but sorrow and pittance. Just leave me alone."

Kurt: "Rachel please just let us help."

Rachel: "No. Just leave me alone."

I just run into my bedroom and just throw myself into bed. I feel like there is nothing in this world for me anymore. I fall asleep and fall into a dream.

(Rachel's dream.)

I am in a dressing room where I am looking down and seeing that I am in a wedding dress. I see that Tina and Mercedes are helping me with my make-up. Then my dream warps into a church and then I see Finn at the other end of the aisle waiting for me. Then it warps again into us sitting on a sofa with a couple of children on the floor in front of us. Then he kisses me and I respond.

(End of dream)

I just wake up in floods of tears. My dreams are taunting me with the stuff that I can't have. It seems it knows that Finn is gone forever. It makes me realise one thing.

You can't live with a broken heart.

** Reviews are welcome as per usual.**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is Chapter 3. This is where the New Directions meet to remember Finn and then get some shocking news.**

Chapter 3: Remembrance.

Kurt's POV.

I get up the next morning and get my stuff ready for the trip home. It is a trip that I don't want to make but at least I'm not making it alone.

Today, Santana and I head on our way back to Lima. Rachel decided not to head back because she feels that she isn't ready. She wants to come back for the funeral which is on Monday. It just feels that it is just a really bad dream but yet it is clearly real. Why did he have to die so young? I'm going to spend my entire life missing him. People need to remember that he was my brother and that he is my hero ever since he saved me back in sophomore in Mickingly.

At least Santana is here with me. She didn't need to do this with me yet she did. And I am grateful for her for doing it. Sometimes, when you are down, you know who your friends are.

Kurt: "Thank you Santana. You truly are a great friend."

Santana: "I know. It is about him. He was so much better than me, than the rest of us. He helped me accept who I am and got me to come out about it. It just doesn't seem real that he is gone. What is the lesson here?"

Kurt: "Is there any? There is just nothing and he has gone well before his time. I just worry for Rachel though. What if she does something whilst we are away?"

Santana: "Berry wouldn't be that stupid. She won't do anything Kurt. Stop worrying."

Kurt: "I just fear that she might do something which could be drastic. After all grief does bring out the irrational in people."

Santana: "That is true."

We both rest and then we arrive in Ohio. We get off the plane and see Dad and Carole. I just run up to them and give them a hug.

Kurt: "Thank God that you are okay."

Carole: "Thank God that you are fine as well. It has been difficult the last few days."

Kurt: "It has been too for us."

Carole all of a sudden pulls Santana into a hug, I couldn't hear what they were saying but it must be something sweet and heartfelt because even Santana is crying. And one thing about Santana is that it takes a lot to make her cry.

Santana: "He was much a better person than I am."

Burt: "I just wish I spent more time with him you know."

Kurt: "We all have regrets that we wish we could have avoided but we need to remember the fact that we knew him."

Santana: "Lets head out of here."

We do and head back home. I see that Carole and Dad have already started making boxes of clothes in order to send to the donation shops. After all most of these things that are here, we don't need. Santana comes with us in order to help out after all her family aren't here at the moment.

Kurt: "Hey that is the ball that we had at our first game. (Reprises the dance of the Single Ladies routine in the game.)"

Burt: "That was the weirdest game I've ever been too."

Kurt: "This is his letterman jacket. I want to keep it if you are okay with it. I remember him coming wearing this in the hallway. (Sniffing) He was like Superman had arrived when he wore this. Oh and that is the Faggy lamp."

Carole: "That thing is hideous. We need to get rid of it."

Burt: "If you may I would like to keep it. I need a lamp in my office for late hours."

Carole: "Okay. (Starts to cry.)"

Santana: "Carole, are you alright?"

Carole: "I've tried to remain strong. But hearing things on the news about young children dying always made me thought, how can parents go on after losing a child? How do they wake up everyday? The thing is that you have to keep on being a parent even though you don't have to have a child anymore? (Crying uncontrollably.)"

We all sit down next to her as we try to comfort her through her grief.

(Time skip.)

When Santana and I arrive at the school, we see that there is a memorial placed outside his old locker. It almost feels like it is a message that it was his locker and that no one will never know its meaning.

We head into the choir room where we see Mr Schue sitting on a chair at the front of the class and on the whiteboard it just says one word. Finn.

I see that Mercedes, Puck, Mike and Quinn are sitting there alongside the current New Directions members. It is weird thinking that a year ago we were all here as a group and competing to win Nationals and won it. I see the trophy sitting there in the cabinet. This makes me remember everything about that competition. It was the happiest day in my life.

Mr Schue: "I know we all don't want to be here. But we are here to remember Finn by the only way that we know how. By singing."

Puck: "Singing isn't going to bring him back."

Mr Schue: "No. No its not. Nothing is. Not ever."

Mercedes says that she wants to go first. She says that one of the most powerful songs that Finn ever sung was this song from was when we had that Ballad assignment. He sung I'll Stand By You when he thought that he was becoming a father but wasn't. She sings the song beautifully and at the end, she looks up to the ceiling and whispers 'We miss you Finn.' We give her a small round of applause.

Artie and Sam decide to perform a performance of Fire and Rain which is incredibly moving. Their voices blend together so well and I felt that they knew what Finn meant to them through that song. I go up and give them a hug after the performance.

Santana decides that she wants to perform next.

Santana: "I know that Finn had his problems with God and all. But I'm convinced that Squishy teeths is up in heaven right now. Planted next to his new friend fat Elvis watching us eating some nice food. But this is for you Finn."

She sings If I Die Young which is right because Finn was only 19 when he died. He was too young to go. But she breaks down halfway through and runs out. I go and see her and she admits a load of things to me after I say that shame is a wasted emotion. She sits on the auditorium stage and I just leave the jacket on her.

I head back inside and see that Puck is getting out his guitar and begins playing a song of his own. He sings No Surrender and throughout the performance, he looks at an empty chair which maybe Finn would be sitting in. After he performed, I decide to get up with one song that I want to sing.

Kurt: "I have one song that I wish to sing. Finn was not only my brother but he was my hero. He fought to keep us safe and he helped me when I was bullied here. So this is for him."

I sing the song Hero. At the end of the performance however, Mrs Schuester as she now is, comes rushing in.

Mr Schue: "What happened?"

Emma: "I had a call from police in New York. Rachel has killed herself."

_What? She had just got the role that she always wanted. Why would she just throw all that talent out of the window? Then I realise. She has a broken heart and she feels she has nothing left to love._

Puck: "How?"

Emma: "Apparently she had a gun in her bedroom. Police say that she shot herself."

We are all crying again and using each other as comfort over the loss of another bright star.

**Reviews are welcome as normal. Poor Rachel, the fact that she didn't feel that she could carry on with Finn. ****Her guilt overwhelmed her so she killed herself.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here is the short finale of the story where you learn about how and why Rachel took her own life and her reunion with Finn.**

Chapter 4: Reunited.

Rachel's POV. (Set that morning.)

After Kurt and Santana left, I just sit on my bed and just sit outside the window. I look outside at the busy streets and just think about what has happened over the last couple of days. I wasn't ready to face everyone and go back home. It hurts too much and right now, I feel that I am lost.

I lie backwards and just cry about everything that I have lost. Finn was my everything and now he has gone. I don't know how I am ever going to continue living after him. All I want is for him to be with me and no matter how much I want that to be true, it will never happen. He is gone. I keep crying tears that I didn't know that I had. Why did he want to go back anyway? Had I really neglected him that much that he felt that he had to put his life on the line for him to feel worth something?

They say that there are 5 stages of grief. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I just feel that the first four are on top of me all at once. No-one would ever understand my love for Finn Hudson. He put me on that train because he loved me and wanted me to achieve my dreams. I tried to reason with him but now I realise what is achieving dreams when you don't have those people that you love to achieve them with?

The entire day seems to drag on and I'm crying tears that I don't even know that I have. My phone is just blowing up but I don't have the strength to answer the calls. I am shouting at the walls desperate for an answer.

Rachel: "Where are you? Please come back. I'll do anything."

But of course there is no answer. There never will be again. I guess this is life's revenge for when I broke up with him when I had cheated on him with Brody. I abused the fact that I had him and now I don't and I never will have him again.

It was always my dream to be on Broadway. To become a star. My dads always pushed me to become a star. They even threatened to pull the plug on my almost wedding just so I could have my Broadway dreams come true. But now, too late I realise that no matter how rich or famous or successful I become, it isn't the same as coming home to the one I love and later on in life, my children. Finn stole my heart back when we meet in Glee during sophomore year and he never gave it back. I am forever his. And now that he is gone, I don't feel that I could ever live the life that I want to live anymore.

I reach for my draw where I find my handgun. Ever since Finn was in the army, he had a gun at home if needed in self-defence. When he came here, it got me a firearm's license in the use of self-defence from terrorists. I know it is strange but war can affect your mind badly and Finn's mind was that he wanted everyone he knew to have some form of defence. I hope he isn't angry with me when I get to him.

I take the gun to my chest and find the trigger. One shot and it is all over. The world around me goes black.

I wake up and see someone very familiar standing right in front of me facing away from me. I walk up to him and he turns around and pulls me into a hug.

Finn: "Didn't expect to see you this soon. You were very stupid you know."

Rachel: "I know. I was just so depressed that I had lost you and you know, I couldn't live without you."

Finn: "Rachel, you had just gotten your dream role. Everything you wanted was right there for you."

Rachel: "Finn. Yes I got the role of Fanny in Funny Girl but what would it be if I didn't have the man I love waiting for me after every performance. After I lost you I realised that love is more important than my career."

Finn: "It was still silly what you did."

Rachel: "Grief affects everyone differently and it affected me to the point of suicide. I guess this is heaven is it?"

Finn: "Yes it is. Let me show you around."

He takes my hand after the sweetest kiss of all and leads me around. He is mine and I am his. We are together until the very end and nothing can separate us apart.

Not even death could separate us.

End.

** That is the end. A bittersweet ending. It proves that sometimes love overcomes all hurdles even death. Reviews are welcome if you wish to review this story.**


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